Asperger's is a part of who we are as a family and it will always be a part of our DD's life. Our youngest nephew has it and we believe DH's youngest brother also has it. The curious thing is that all 3 of them - our DD, our nephew, and my BIL all had difficulties at birth.
DD was born 14 weeks early and has other disabilities that helped mask the fact she had Asperger's. (You can read more about DD's early birth and disabilities, here.) From the beginning, we knew something just wasn't right with our daughter. She was easily overstimulated and had meltdowns, but we were told to expect that from premmies. There were other odd little things that she did, but thought it was because of her hearing impairment or her very mild cerebral palsy.
I knew from my educational courses, she had some autistic tendencies. She would line up her toys and organize her toys, but never really played with her toys. She was affectionate, but not overly affectionate. She could communicate and carry on conversations, but it was often one sided and about her. Her vocabulary was way above her grade level, but we attributed that to all the books she read or we read to her from an early age.
None of this made any sense to us. It was hard to tell other people about it, because they weren't seeing the odd behaviors. They weren't dealing with the freak outs or meltdowns. All they saw was a sweet, smart girl and young lady. All of which she is.
It wasn't until our youngest nephew came along and was diagnosed at the age of 3 with Asperger's that puzzle pieces started to fit. He was doing some of the same things our DD did at his age. He was having the freak outs and meltdowns. He was having the overstimulated issues. He was having sensitivity issues with temps and textures, which was something DD had issues with but we put off onto other things.
As I began researching Asperger's in order to help our nephew and in order to support my BIL and his ex-wife, I began to find list of things DD had done and was continuing to do. One afternoon, I sat DH down and showed him what I was finding. With one look on his face, I knew he thought what I thought - our DD has Asperger's and what do we now?
We began to do more research and tried to learn as much as we could. We started looking into having her testing, whether it would help, and would insurance cover it. As we found out more and more, we knew testing was going to be beyond our financial reach. The cheapest quote we could find was $2500 and insurance wouldn't cover very much of it or any at all.
Time went on and through some things we have had to work on and take care of, DD was finally tested with no cost to us. The psychologist she saw told DH there was no doubt in their mind that DD did indeed have Asperger's. The psychologist brought up signs and symptoms that we weren't even aware of but looking back we knew DD had them. While it wasn't a big surprise, it did help give us a peace of mind to know that all those odd things behaviors we were seeing weren't in our own minds, that they did have a cause and a name, Asperger's.
I don't share this with you to garner any sympathy or for you to feel sorry for us. I share this in the hope to establish a little understanding and compassion. Not every child is born perfect. Most have some issue, handicap, or problem that they and their parents have to deal with. So the next time you see a child behaving oddly, in a wheelchair, or just having a bad day; don't look at them any differently than you would any other child. See them as the child of God they are. See them as the being God created them to be. Look at their parents with a look of support instead of a look at condemnation.
Asperger's is NOT what has been inflicted on our family. It is just a part of who we are as a family and we are okay with that. We don't know what the future holds. We know there will be bumps along the way and things to get through, but we know who holds our future in His hand. We know with His grace, guidance, and love we can face anything. To God be the glory!
Living life with Asperger's simply the best way we can, one day at a time!
As I began researching Asperger's in order to help our nephew and in order to support my BIL and his ex-wife, I began to find list of things DD had done and was continuing to do. One afternoon, I sat DH down and showed him what I was finding. With one look on his face, I knew he thought what I thought - our DD has Asperger's and what do we now?
We began to do more research and tried to learn as much as we could. We started looking into having her testing, whether it would help, and would insurance cover it. As we found out more and more, we knew testing was going to be beyond our financial reach. The cheapest quote we could find was $2500 and insurance wouldn't cover very much of it or any at all.
Time went on and through some things we have had to work on and take care of, DD was finally tested with no cost to us. The psychologist she saw told DH there was no doubt in their mind that DD did indeed have Asperger's. The psychologist brought up signs and symptoms that we weren't even aware of but looking back we knew DD had them. While it wasn't a big surprise, it did help give us a peace of mind to know that all those odd things behaviors we were seeing weren't in our own minds, that they did have a cause and a name, Asperger's.
I don't share this with you to garner any sympathy or for you to feel sorry for us. I share this in the hope to establish a little understanding and compassion. Not every child is born perfect. Most have some issue, handicap, or problem that they and their parents have to deal with. So the next time you see a child behaving oddly, in a wheelchair, or just having a bad day; don't look at them any differently than you would any other child. See them as the child of God they are. See them as the being God created them to be. Look at their parents with a look of support instead of a look at condemnation.
Asperger's is NOT what has been inflicted on our family. It is just a part of who we are as a family and we are okay with that. We don't know what the future holds. We know there will be bumps along the way and things to get through, but we know who holds our future in His hand. We know with His grace, guidance, and love we can face anything. To God be the glory!
Living life with Asperger's simply the best way we can, one day at a time!
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