Trying To Do It All

When I started out as a young bride in the late 1980's, there was movement going on trying to convince women that they could have it all. They could work full time, have a perfectly kept home, pursue hobbies, keep physically fit, spend quality time with their children, and still have time to be romantic for my husband. All you had to do was be organized, run on a schedule, and keep yourself highly motivated. Being a young woman without a lot of maturity or wisdom, I thought since I was still young I could do it all if I just tried hard enough. 

I read organizing books. I read books about how to make a schedule and stick to it. I organized, made out chore charts, and made a schedule. I made a whole list of things I wanted to do with or teach our DD. I had big ideas of DH coming home to a spotless house, a happy daughter, and a romantic candle light dinner. All that happened was that I would have a melt down from feeling so stressed out and feeling like a failure. 

Over the years, I added a part time job, started  homeschooling, and gardening. I readjusted schedules and reworked chore charts. I looked for ways to include things that I like to do and that would help me relax. The more I added, the more I reworked, the more I became frustrated. I just couldn't figure out why I couldn't do what needed to be done and still have time for what I wanted to do. I was too hard headed to see what was right in front of me; it is impossible for me or anyone else to do it all. 

If I spent the time needed for me to have a spotlessly clean house, I didn't have time to work in my veggie/flower garden. If I spent time making bread and fixing food to freeze, I didn't have time to keep the house spotless. If I spent the time to keep all of the gardens beds weed free and looking neat, I didn't have the time to cook and bake nor did I feel like it. If I took the time to work on my hobbies, I felt guilty for not taking care of my homekeeping duties. It was a vicious cycle that I was in and it was keeping me stressed and worn out. 

It has only been in the last two years or so that I have REALLY realized I couldn't do it and that is okay. I have learned to let things go and to be flexible. I have also learned to rework things the right way. For example, in the spring when my gardens require a lot of attention, I make sure to schedule simple meals and buy something for dessert. I learned if I have a week with a lot of running around to do, it is okay if a few rooms don't get cleaned. I have learned to give and to take. I have learned that my family would rather have me happy and relaxed instead of stressed and wound tight. I have learned that perfection can only be found in one being and that is my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

As women, we have a very important role in our family. We are the part that keeps the whole thing running. We are the chief housekeeper, cook, child entertainer, partner in love, head laundress, and main chauffeur. We have a lot of responsibilities to take care of, but we have out limitations. We need to be okay with doing less and asking for help when we need it. We need to recognize we can't do it all and do it perfectly. We are after all only human, right?

Living a simple life and acknowledging I can't do it all!