The Toll Of Alzheimer's

Alzheimer's is a cruel, nasty disease. It robs a person of their treasure store of memories and eventually robs a family of a cherished, loved one. It takes a toll on the person afflicted and the loved ones around them. It drains all of them physically, mentally, and emotionally. Alzheimer's is a cruel, nasty disease. 

Tomorrow is my maternal grandmother's 89th birthday, but she won't remember that because she has Alzheimer's. She started showing signs of the disease about 7 to 8 years ago. It started out with little things, like forgetting to do something when making coffee in a coffee maker. It progressed to asking the same question over and over again over a period of time. It showed in conversations about rain and how it never rained at her house, when it clearly had because her driveway was muddy. It showed talking about her garden which was the worst garden she ever had but there would be fresh produce from her garden on the counter. 

Denial was the mantra of the day with my mother and her siblings for a long time, until it became so obvious something was wrong. The same question started coming over and over again within seconds. Names were forgotten. Items were misplaced. Pots of water were left on the burners unattended. As the disease progressed, it started showing up in her demeanor. She became mean and aggressive. At times, I think the anger came from a place of she knew something was wrong with her, but she didn't know what it was and it frustrated her.

Valiantly my mother and siblings did there best to keep my grandmother in her own home. It finally got to the point where my grandmother's health and safety became an issue. So reluctantly, they finally agreed to put her in an Alzheimer's full care facility. My grandmother has been there for almost a year now and is doing well. Some of the anger issues subsided. The caregivers said they saw that happen often and they believed because on some level, they know they are around people like them and it makes them more comfortable. Even in a place of comfort, the disease is still progressing. It is now to the point where she is not finishing sentences and her speech is at times garbled. 

My mother and siblings visit her several times each with, treasuring each moment they get to spend with her. She still recognizes her daughters as her daughters, but she can't put the right name to them. However, she often refers to them as her sisters.  She is slowly losing recognition of her sons. She talks often of going home, not the home of her married life, but of her childhood home. The few memories she has is from those early childhood years.

My grandmother no longer comes to family gatherings. It just became to stressful for her. It is sad not having her with us, but all want to do what is best for her. She is still our grandmother, but she isn't the woman we grew up calling grandma. Her memories of us are almost gone. We can still a glimmer of recognition in her eyes, but it only lasts for seconds. It is sadly to see her slowly fade away. In one way it is a blessing because we have been able to slowly say good-bye and begin the grieving process, but there are times I just want my grandma back. 

Alzheimer's is a cruel, nasty disease. It robs a person of their treasure store of memories and eventually robs a family of a cherished, loved one. It is robbing me of my grandma. 

If you have an Alzheimer's patient in your family or want to learn more about it,  please visit the Alzheimer's Association website. There you can find out the signs and symptoms. They have an educational and resource center. There are message boards you can sign up to discuss issues with other effected by it. They have news about the latest research that is being done. They have a blog and a caregiver center. It is a great place to get started if you are just learning about Alzheimer's or a newly diagnosed family member. 

Living with Alzheimer's in our family and praying for God's will be done!